We each get to define our own purpose in life and our own role as parents. When we do this, we can parent with purpose and on purpose.
“When you don’t have a purpose, it’s easy to get distracted.” ~ Justin Su’a
“Before you do something, it’s important to pause and remind yourself why you’re doing it. Purpose enhances focus.” ~ Justin Su’a
Why is purpose so important?
In Lewis Carroll’s book, Alice in Wonderland, Alice comes to a fork in the road and asks,
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’ ‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,’ said the Cat. ‘I don’t much care where -‘ said Alice. ‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’ said the Cat.”
Many parents have never really taken the time to explore their purpose as a parent, which is totally understandable. I mean, it’s not like anyone really ever asks us to think of things like this.
Without a parenting purpose, it’s easy to get distracted from what is most important to you.
Without a defined purpose, role, or vision, you don’t have the guidance of a goal.
When we take time to define our purpose as a parent, we focus on the results that WE would like to achieve in OUR lives and in OUR role as parents.
Defining our purpose gives us purpose and direction.
Defining our purpose makes us proactive instead or reactive.
Who gets to define YOUR purpose?
First, let’s look at the word define vs. find.
I’ve heard people talk about finding their purpose. That’s a little different. Finding suggests that we are looking for something. Finding suggests that we are at the mercy of whether or not we find whatever it is we are looking for. Finding puts our focus on something outside of ourselves.
Defining our purpose is something within our control. Rather than looking for something outside of ourselves, we are looking within ourselves and creating our purpose. We are the ones in control. We are the ones creating the definition of our role as a parent.
Your role and purpose will be unique to you. It will be shaped by your values, your characteristics, your life experiences, and the impact that you want to have. In other words, YOU are defining your own purpose as a parent.
I have a friend who is big into hunting and camping, and everything outdoors. He see’s his role as a teacher and example in passing down their family traditions and the importance of hunting, camping, fishing and other things.
I have another friend who believes it is her role to be an example of having an open mind, being accepting of others, and treating others with love and kindness.
I believe that my role is to be a coach, teacher, and example. This gives my guidance and direction in ALL parenting situations.
How to define your purpose.
Brainstorm
Take 5-10 minutes to write your thoughts on this.
Look inward:
What are your values?
What is your role?
How would you like to be remembered?
Define
Clearly write down your purpose.
Make it clear and concise.
Make sure it is aligned with your values.
Refine
Your purpose doesn’t need to be set in stone.
You can change and refine your purpose as you change and grow.
Your purpose is alive and ever-changing.
Remember, this is YOUR purpose. You get to define it. You can do it your own way. There is no right or wrong way to do this. If you want help with this, you can join my FREE Facebook challenge and access the FREE download to walk you through defining your purpose.
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What is your role as a parent? How do you envision yourself fulfilling that role? What is your purpose?
There’s power in clarity.
The reality is, most parents never really take a minute to think about their purpose as parents, their role, or how they envision themselves as parents in that role.
I mean, most parents, if you asked them what their role was, they could definitely come up with some solid answers, but most have never really taken time to proactively think about it. Most parents haven’t explored all the possibilities.
When I did this exercise, I realized that I wasn’t necessarily “finding” answers, I was defining the answers that I was looking for.
I wasn’t “finding” my purpose as a father, I was defining my purpose.
I realized that I wanted to be a teacher, coach, mentor, example, friend, partner, and so many other things. Once I began to explore this, I realized that there are TONS of things that I am doing right. I also became aware of a few specific things that I want to be doing better.
Over the next 5 days, we will be doing simple 5-10 minute daily exercises to help give you a powerful perspective on your role as a parent and your ability to be the catalyst for incredible change in your life and your relationship with your teen.
