Teenagers inadvertently adopt our mindsets and beliefs!
“Calm is contagious [ . . .] You can supplant any word you want for ‘calm‘ — chaos is contagious, panic is contagious, stupid 100% is contagious, [ . . ] “So we like ‘calm‘ because it lets you keep your head, it keeps you focused on the mission at hand.”
~ Former Navy SEAL Commander, Rorke Denver
Human Beings are Herd Animals
We like to be part of a herd or a tribe. Similar to animals, we mirror the behavior of others. We adopt many of the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of those around us.
Jim Rohn said, “You’re the average of the five people spend the most time with.” Not only are you influenced by the people closest to you, but you are influenced by your society, your community, your family, anybody that you spend time with.
We can’t help it. It’s a survival and defense mechanism. We try to fit in with those around us.
Teens’ Models Their Parents’ Models
Teens subconsciously are trying to become like their parents. Sure, they are trying to grow up, be unique, and become themselves, but everything they do is processed through their brain which has been highly influenced by you.
Most people adopt the beliefs and values of their parents. You can see this in politics, religion, and even sports fandom.
This isn’t bad. It’s not brainwashing; it’s simply how we are designed as human beings.
What you think and believe, your teen will likely think and believe.
How you feel, your teen will likely adopt.
How you act and what you do, your teen will probably mirror.
This is why it’s so important that we as parents become aware of our own models.
My teen’s struggling with ___________, what should I do?
“My teen’s struggling with . . . “
You fill in the blank.
Parents all over the country, world really, want to help their teens. They want to change their teens. They want to help them be different.
But their focus is usually in the wrong place.
Parents usually focus on their teen, on changing their teen. But this means that their focus is on something outside of their control.
When you focus on your teen, and your try to fix your teen, you only push them away.
Instead, bring the focus inward onto you. What can you do? How can you be the change that you want to see?
Understand and observe your own personal models.
Develop your own awareness, and then, develop intentionality.
Call to ACTION!
Get on a FREE consultation call with me today to see how you can stop pushing your teen away and start connecting with them right where they are.