Stop wasting you energy on things outside of your control, and harness that energy on BEing the parent of your dreams.
Parenting From Fear
Parenting from fear is common for parents, and it’s a symptom of focusing on things outside of your control. When we do this, we typically catastrophize and see all the things that could go wrong.
Theresa was afraid that her teen would be arrested. She was worried that he’d be behind bars and “ruin” his life.
This caused Theresa to yell and try to control her teen.
She thought that she needed to fix him and protect him from himself.
Parenting From Shame
It’s also common to parent from shame and worry about what others are thinking about you. This is another symptom of focusing on things outside of your control
Theresa believed that others were thinking that she was a terrible mother and that it was her job to fix her teen.
If you are experiencing shame as a parent, it’s likely because you are worried about what others think about you.
Also, if you worry that you aren’t good enough, or if you worry that you are somehow ruining your teen, this will cause feelings of shame and inadequacy.
Made Small Simple Shifts In the Beginning
When Theresa shifted her mindset, she was able to change how she behaved towards him. Making these simple things helped her stop yelling at her teen. It helped her better connect with her teen.
Everything Changed When her Mindset Changed
When Theresa realized that she didn’t have to catastrophize, she was able to realize that there were benefits to her son’s behavior. Though she didn’t agree with him selling vapes, she was able to find peace in the thought that he was learning business skills.
Changing from The Inside Out
When you start managing your own thoughts, you start changing on the inside.
When Theresa started BEing the change, the change rippled out and impacted her teen.
Theresa’s growth and change are a reflection of the growth and change that Theresa experienced.
When we change on the INSIDE, our outside environment changes to match our frequency.
Harness Your Energy
Stop focusing on things outside of your control and focus on what you can control. Use that energy to be the BEST version of you that you can possibly be.
When you refocus your attention, you can use that energy to change your thought patterns and start thinking in a more powerful way.
Call to ACTION!
Start being the parent of your dreams TODAY!
Come join an amazing community of parents in the Firmly Founded Parent Membership!
When you commit to BEing the change, you become the your own HERO!
“Be the change you wish to see in the world.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
YOU Have the Power to BE the Change
Most parents, in fact, most human beings, go around blaming others for things that they want to change.
They position themselves as the victim in life and in the stories they tell themselves.
You have the power to create change, when you are willing to be the change you are looking for. When you stop trying to change others, you change YOU!
3 Reasons Why Being the Change Is SO Powerful
#1 You Become the Hero!
When you commit to BEing the change, you become the hero of your own life. You become the hero in your mind and in the stories that you tell yourself. As the hero, you become empowered and capable of being the change.
#2 You Focus On ONLY What You CAN Control!
BEing the change shifts your focus from all of the many, many, things outside of your control to the very few things that you can actually control. Now, rather than wasting energy and attention on things outside of your control, you are focusing your energy and efforts on things that are actually within your control.
#3 You Become a Powerful Example!
BEing the change, positions you as an example. By BEing the change, you model the way of BEing and behaving that you would like others to adopt. Who you are and what you do speaks so much louder than what you say.
BEing the Change & Inside-Out vs Outside-In
Most people try to change things outside of themselves hoping it will change something within themselves. They focus on things outside of themselves and outside of their control, like getting their teen to change or get better grades or have a better attitude, thinking this will change something inside of themselves, like how they think, feel, and/or act.
One of my clients recently realized that when she tries to change things from the outside in, she goes into “Control Freak Mode.” Her words, not mine.
When you focus on things outside of your control, you position yourself as the victim in your life and in the stories you tell about yourself. This makes you dependent upon others changing so you can be happy.
This means changing things on the inside of you, trusting it will change things on the outside.
To do this, you have to let go of your desired results and trust that changing YOU is enough. Your desired results might be for your teen to get better grades, stop looking at porn, or to be kinder to others. You cannot control those outcomes, but you can control how you think about it, feel about it, and act in response.
When you focus on the few things within your control, for example, how you think, how you feel, and how you act, you gain power over those things.
When you focus on the things within your control, you become empowered. You become the hero of your life and the hero of the stories you tell yourself.
When you change from the inside out, you will start to see that things outside of your control begin to change as they are impacted by YOUR internal change.
For example, I can’t tell you how many times clients have told me that everything has changed in their family, simply because they changed. Sometimes because of their change, their teens have been open for coaching. Sometimes their teens start acting kinder and trying harder at school.
Powerful Questions Facilitate Change
The quality of the questions you are willing to ask yourself will determine the quality of your results. Ask yourself quality questions every day!
Most people are unwilling to ask and/or answer quality questions, and when they are confronted with powerful questions, most people give the easy answer, “I don’t know.”
“I don’t know”, simply means, “I’m not willing to figure this out right now.”
Join my FREE Be the Change Training to access the worksheet with some powerful questions to help you get started on BEing the change from the INSIDE-OUT!
Get in the habit of exploring these and similar questions EVERY DAY!
Call to ACTION!
I’m getting ready to launch my BETA program for parents, Impact: Parenting Transformation. And I want YOU to help me make it the best program ever.
Leading up to the launch I’m offering a Free 3 Day Live Be the Change Parent Training Aug. 2nd, 5th, and 9th @ 2PM MDT.
This free training started on Monday, but when you register, you will get access to the replays and the next live trainings.
Register for the 3 Day Live Be the Change Training by clicking the link below.