Make sure you listen to this episode because I won’t do it justice here in the show notes.
Arthur C. Woods is an awesome friend and amazing life coach for teens. I really enjoyed this conversation with him.
Stages of Growth!
Discovery: Discovering who you are and who you want to be.
Defining: Defining and deciding who you are and who you want to be.
These are both important steps in growth.
And, growth is often uncomfortable.
In addition to being uncomfortable, growth is also a process that takes time and repeated effort over and over.
The Importance of Identity
Most people overly focus on DOing things rather than BEing.
Rather than reading a book, be a reader.
Rather than focusing on running a marathon, focus on BEing a marathon runner.
Trust who you are!
Lean to your strengths.
Let your weaknesses be areas of growth.
How to get your teen to work with Arthur!
(1) Free Parent (of Teen) Training: Helping Your Teen Escape The Prison of Anxiety (December 08, Thursday @ 6:30 pm – Eastern Standard Time). Parents can register here: https://bit.ly/helpingyourteensescape
Recently I was talking to a dad and he said something to the effect of, “Why do we quit growing as parents and adults?”
He went on to say that as a parent, he feels like he’s supposed to know everything and be perfect and that working on his own personal growth would make him look silly, like he doesn’t know everything and he’s not perfect.
☝️ This is why parents stop growing. ☝️
They think that they’re supposed to know everything and be perfect, so they avoid imperfection and the unknown.
There’s a concept that I taught my little league football team this year.
One day, while I was trying to coach up one of my players, he kept interrupting me telling me, “I know. I already know!”
The problem was, when I watched him I could tell that he did not know what I wanted him to know.
And, because he thought he already knew, he didn’t have room to learn anything new.
I call this the full cup problem.
Imagine trying to pour water into a cup that’s already full of water.
What’s going to happen?
It’s going to over-fill and run over the side.
The cup has no room for anything more.
This happens to us when we think we have no room for growth.
Why Do People Avoid Growth?
Recently I’ve been watching my kids as they’ve been growing in different areas of their lives.
My 16 year old, even though he’s on the football team and wants to be a good football player, he has been resistant to growth.
He tells me things like, “I don’t want to mess up”, or “I don’t want a coach to yell at me”, or “I don’t want to look dumb.”
My 13 teen year old on the other hand, has never played football before this year and he knew almost nothing.
Because he knew nothing, he positioned himself as an empty cup and was very coachable, and he grew very quickly.
Most people avoid growth for just a few reasons.
#1 They don’t want to look bad.
#2 It can be hard and uncomfortable to grow.
#3 They don’t believe they can/need to grow.
Growth is What Stands Between You and Your Dreams
One of the things that I’ve found as I’ve coached tons of parents and teens is that growth is what’s standing between you and your dreams.
Want to become the parent of your dreams?
Grow as a parent.
Want a better relationship with your teen?
Grow YOUR relationship with yourself and then your teen.
Want to stop yelling, arguing, or simply avoiding all potential conflict with your teen?
Grow yourself as a parent.
The Gift Of Growth
I want to give you the gift of growth.
I want to give you a FREE podcast-mini-series to help you grow as a parent.
This mini-series will only be available for a limited time, from Monday November 14, 2022 through
This is a gift that will impact not only you, but your whole entire family as well.
Check out my FREE new podcast-mini-series Parenting From the Inside Out and learn how you can give your family the gift of your own personal growth.
If you’re like most people, you’re probably guilty of overcomplicating things.
This is in our human nature.
You have a massive prefrontal cortex that loves complexities. So, your brain naturally overcomplicates things.
Look at heart surgery for example.
Super complicated, right?
I might be your favorite life coach, but there’s no way you’re going to have me perform heart surgery for you. It’s too complex. I wouldn’t even know where to start.
I’m not saying heart surgery is bad, I’m just saying that it’s a complex solution that gets more attention than the simple solution.
The truth is, heart surgery often could have been avoided by simply being healthier, eating better foods and being more active.
Rather than doing the simple, people often turn to the complicated solution.
Your Subconscious Mind Loves Simplicity
Don’t believe me?
Look at the movies we watch, they might seem complicated on the surface, but in reality, they’re very simple.
They follow pretty much the same simple pattern.
There’s a good guy, a bad guy, and a thing the good guy wants, but the bad guy is in the way, so the good guy has to go on a journey, which causes them to grow, which makes them able to defeat the bad guy and get what they want. The End.
Almost every movie, TV show, play, or book has followed this pattern forever.
And, if you’re like me, you just keep watching because it’s simple, it’s predictable, and it feels good.
We watch entertainment to help us relax and let go of the stress that comes with our complicated world.
Your subconscious is craving simplicity.
We think we want complicated, and all the bells and whistles, but what we really want is simplicity.
You think you want the fancy car, with all the buttons, and the latest features, and the coolest designs, . . .
. . . BUT. . .
. . . What you are really looking for is the simplicity that the car will bring.
For example, the fancy car with all the buttons will make your life easier/more comfortable.
The latest features will make your life safer.
The cool new design will make you cooler.
Even in all of it’s complexities, it’s promising simplicity.
Over-Complication Leads to Overwhelm
Lately in my 1:1 coaching and in the Firmly Founded Family membership, I’ve been coaching a lot on OVERWHELM.
It seems like everyone is overwhelmed these days, especially me.
Moms and dads are overwhelmed because it’s the holiday season, and their houses aren’t clean enough or decorated well enough, and they need to do all this stuff, and help their kids do all this stuff, and they need to pay the bills and work, but then they’re not home, and they just feel like they are failing at everything because they can’t do everything, and they feel overwhelmed and stressed.
Teens are overwhelmed because their grades aren’t good enough, and they have so many things that they don’t want to miss out on, and school, and church, and youth groups, and coaching calls, and sports, and, and, and, . . .
And I’m overwhelmed because I have so many things I want to do. I want to have the best family membership, the best coaching content, the best courses, and I want to start an entrepreneurial alternative to high school for teens who hate school, and I want the most clients, and I want to coach football and win the most games and have the trickiest plays, plus I just want to hangout with my family all the time, all of which leaves me feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
If you’re like everyone I’ve ever coached on overwhelm, you probably don’t like it.
Overwhelm will hold you back.
Overwhelm will suck all the joy and confidence from your life.
Simplicity Leads to BEing
If you want more peace, joy, and confidence in your life, start turning to simplicity.
Seriously, it will change EVERYTHING.
One of the things keeping you from BEing the parent of your dreams is overwhelm.
Trying to be everything, and do everything, and have everything is keeping you from BEing who you want to be.
So start letting go of things that unnecessarily complicate your life.
Pick ONE Thing that would Change EVERYTHING
I’ve been coaching a football player.
He’s very good.
At the beginning of the season, he was supposed to be amazing, but he wasn’t.
In fact, he was getting in trouble with his coaches because he wasn’t playing to his potential.
He was worried that he was going to lose his starting job.
After one session, we were able to identify, address, and fix the problem.
He was overwhelmed and overcomplicating his job.
I had him identify ONE SIMPLE thing that would change everything.
After a week of simply doing that ONE SIMPLE thing, everything changed.
What’s that ONE SIMPLE thing for you?
What’s the one simple thing that would change everything?
For me, it’s been being kind. Lately it’s simply allowing growth and expansion in my life.
For my football player is was firing off the ball and being committed.
Get Access to My Next Course at 50% OFF! (You just have to help me with some feedback).
I’m implementing some new teachings in my next course, and I’m redoing tons of components with the goal of simplification.
Help me hone in this trainings and make the course as simple, yet impactful, as possible, while saving a bunch of money.