#130 – BONUS! Be The Change with Emily Wardrop

#130 – BONUS! Be The Change with Emily Wardrop

This is an unplanned, unscripted, interview!

Make sure you listen to this episode because I won’t do it justice here in the show notes.

Emily Wardrop is an awesome friend and amazing life coach for parents. I really enjoyed this conversation with her, and I’m sure you will too.

On the Same Team

On this podcast we talk about being on the same team rather than on the same page.

This helps you as a parent to model the behavior and BEing that you want to see in your teen.

Humans are Herd Animals

We talked about mirroring the behavior that we see in our children.

We talked about the power of modeling the behavior that we want to see instead of mirroring it.

Be the Change You Want to See!

We also talked about BEing the change that you want to see.

Too many parents overly focus on their teens, and instead of BEing the change, they try to change their teens.

Be the change that you want to see!

How to work with Emily!

You can find Drop the War Life Coach on FB, IG, and YouTube!

Check out her amazing FREE trainings by clicking the links below!

www.dropthewar.com/believe

www.dropthewar.com/t1d

My Podcast-Mini-Series will be ending soon. Don’t miss it!

I want to give you a FREE podcast-mini-series to help you grow as a parent.

If you haven’t yet listened to my FREE Podcast-MINI-Series, Parenting from the Inside-Out, do it before it’s gone on Dec. 14th, 2022.

benpughcoaching.com/privatepodcast

Also, register to attend one or all of my FREE Parenting from the Inside-Out trainings.  Learn More Here

There will be live trainings held on the following dates and times: 

  • Dec 6, 2022 10:00 AM
  • Dec 7, 2022 02:00 PM
  • Dec 14, 2022 12:00 PM

#128 – Birthday Interview with Arthur C. Woods!

#128 – Birthday Interview with Arthur C. Woods!

This is an unplanned, unscripted, interview!

Make sure you listen to this episode because I won’t do it justice here in the show notes.

Arthur C. Woods is an awesome friend and amazing life coach for teens. I really enjoyed this conversation with him.

Stages of Growth!

Discovery: Discovering who you are and who you want to be.

Defining: Defining and deciding who you are and who you want to be.

These are both important steps in growth.

And, growth is often uncomfortable.

In addition to being uncomfortable, growth is also a process that takes time and repeated effort over and over.

The Importance of Identity

Most people overly focus on DOing things rather than BEing.

Rather than reading a book, be a reader.

Rather than focusing on running a marathon, focus on BEing a marathon runner.

Trust who you are!

Lean to your strengths.

Let your weaknesses be areas of growth.

How to get your teen to work with Arthur!

(1) Free Parent (of Teen) Training: Helping Your Teen Escape The Prison of Anxiety (December 08, Thursday @ 6:30 pm – Eastern Standard Time). Parents can register here: https://bit.ly/helpingyourteensescape

(2) Free Facebook Group, Exclusively For Parents of Teenagers: www.facebook.com/groups/parentingteensintodaysworld

(3) Connect with Arthur:  www.facebook.com/arthurcwoods

My Podcast-Mini-Series will be ending soon. Don’t miss it!

I want to give you a FREE podcast-mini-series to help you grow as a parent.

This mini-series will only be available for a limited time, until December 14th, 2022.

This is a gift that will impact not only you, but your whole entire family as well.

Check out my FREE new podcast-mini-series Parenting From the Inside Out and learn how you can give your family the gift of your own personal growth.

#126 – The Gift of YOUR Growth

#126 – The Gift of YOUR Growth

Why Do Parents Stop Growing?

Recently I was talking to a dad and he said something to the effect of, “Why do we quit growing as parents and adults?”

He went on to say that as a parent, he feels like he’s supposed to know everything and be perfect and that working on his own personal growth would make him look silly, like he doesn’t know everything and he’s not perfect.

☝️ This is why parents stop growing. ☝️

They think that they’re supposed to know everything and be perfect, so they avoid imperfection and the unknown.

There’s a concept that I taught my little league football team this year.

One day, while I was trying to coach up one of my players, he kept interrupting me telling me, “I know. I already know!”

The problem was, when I watched him I could tell that he did not know what I wanted him to know.

And, because he thought he already knew, he didn’t have room to learn anything new.

I call this the full cup problem.

Imagine trying to pour water into a cup that’s already full of water.

What’s going to happen?

It’s going to over-fill and run over the side.

The cup has no room for anything more.

This happens to us when we think we have no room for growth.

Why Do People Avoid Growth?

Recently I’ve been watching my kids as they’ve been growing in different areas of their lives.

My 16 year old, even though he’s on the football team and wants to be a good football player, he has been resistant to growth.

He tells me things like, “I don’t want to mess up”, or “I don’t want a coach to yell at me”, or “I don’t want to look dumb.”

My 13 teen year old on the other hand, has never played football before this year and he knew almost nothing.

Because he knew nothing, he positioned himself as an empty cup and was very coachable, and he grew very quickly.

Most people avoid growth for just a few reasons.

#1 They don’t want to look bad.

#2 It can be hard and uncomfortable to grow.

#3 They don’t believe they can/need to grow.

Growth is What Stands Between You and Your Dreams

One of the things that I’ve found as I’ve coached tons of parents and teens is that growth is what’s standing between you and your dreams.

Want to become the parent of your dreams?

Grow as a parent.

Want a better relationship with your teen?

Grow YOUR relationship with yourself and then your teen.

Want to stop yelling, arguing, or simply avoiding all potential conflict with your teen?

Grow yourself as a parent.

The Gift Of Growth

I want to give you the gift of growth.

I want to give you a FREE podcast-mini-series to help you grow as a parent.

This mini-series will only be available for a limited time, from Monday November 14, 2022 through

This is a gift that will impact not only you, but your whole entire family as well.

Check out my FREE new podcast-mini-series Parenting From the Inside Out and learn how you can give your family the gift of your own personal growth.

#123 – Are You Craving Simplicity?

#123 – Are You Craving Simplicity?

Humans Overcomplicate Things

If you’re like most people, you’re probably guilty of overcomplicating things.

This is in our human nature.

You have a massive prefrontal cortex that loves complexities. So, your brain naturally overcomplicates things.

Look at heart surgery for example.

Super complicated, right?

I might be your favorite life coach, but there’s no way you’re going to have me perform heart surgery for you. It’s too complex. I wouldn’t even know where to start.

I’m not saying heart surgery is bad, I’m just saying that it’s a complex solution that gets more attention than the simple solution.

The truth is, heart surgery often could have been avoided by simply being healthier, eating better foods and being more active.

Rather than doing the simple, people often turn to the complicated solution.

Your Subconscious Mind Loves Simplicity

Don’t believe me?

Look at the movies we watch, they might seem complicated on the surface, but in reality, they’re very simple.

They follow pretty much the same simple pattern.

There’s a good guy, a bad guy, and a thing the good guy wants, but the bad guy is in the way, so the good guy has to go on a journey, which causes them to grow, which makes them able to defeat the bad guy and get what they want. The End.

Almost every movie, TV show, play, or book has followed this pattern forever.

And, if you’re like me, you just keep watching because it’s simple, it’s predictable, and it feels good.

We watch entertainment to help us relax and let go of the stress that comes with our complicated world.

Your subconscious is craving simplicity.

We think we want complicated, and all the bells and whistles, but what we really want is simplicity.

You think you want the fancy car, with all the buttons, and the latest features, and the coolest designs, . . .

. . . BUT. . .

. . . What you are really looking for is the simplicity that the car will bring.

For example, the fancy car with all the buttons will make your life easier/more comfortable.

The latest features will make your life safer.

The cool new design will make you cooler.

Even in all of it’s complexities, it’s promising simplicity.

Over-Complication Leads to Overwhelm

Lately in my 1:1 coaching and in the Firmly Founded Family membership, I’ve been coaching a lot on OVERWHELM.

It seems like everyone is overwhelmed these days, especially me.

Moms and dads are overwhelmed because it’s the holiday season, and their houses aren’t clean enough or decorated well enough, and they need to do all this stuff, and help their kids do all this stuff, and they need to pay the bills and work, but then they’re not home, and they just feel like they are failing at everything because they can’t do everything, and they feel overwhelmed and stressed.

Teens are overwhelmed because their grades aren’t good enough, and they have so many things that they don’t want to miss out on, and school, and church, and youth groups, and coaching calls, and sports, and, and, and, . . .

And I’m overwhelmed because I have so many things I want to do. I want to have the best family membership, the best coaching content, the best courses, and I want to start an entrepreneurial alternative to high school for teens who hate school, and I want the most clients, and I want to coach football and win the most games and have the trickiest plays, plus I just want to hangout with my family all the time, all of which leaves me feeling overwhelmed and stressed.

If you’re like everyone I’ve ever coached on overwhelm, you probably don’t like it.

Overwhelm will hold you back.

Overwhelm will suck all the joy and confidence from your life.

Simplicity Leads to BEing

If you want more peace, joy, and confidence in your life, start turning to simplicity.

Seriously, it will change EVERYTHING.

One of the things keeping you from BEing the parent of your dreams is overwhelm.

Trying to be everything, and do everything, and have everything is keeping you from BEing who you want to be.

So start letting go of things that unnecessarily complicate your life.

Pick ONE Thing that would Change EVERYTHING

I’ve been coaching a football player.

He’s very good.

At the beginning of the season, he was supposed to be amazing, but he wasn’t.

In fact, he was getting in trouble with his coaches because he wasn’t playing to his potential.

He was worried that he was going to lose his starting job.

After one session, we were able to identify, address, and fix the problem.

He was overwhelmed and overcomplicating his job.

I had him identify ONE SIMPLE thing that would change everything.

After a week of simply doing that ONE SIMPLE thing, everything changed.

What’s that ONE SIMPLE thing for you?

What’s the one simple thing that would change everything?

For me, it’s been being kind. Lately it’s simply allowing growth and expansion in my life.

For my football player is was firing off the ball and being committed.

Get Access to My Next Course at 50% OFF!
(You just have to help me with some feedback).

I’m implementing some new teachings in my next course, and I’m redoing tons of components with the goal of simplification.

Help me hone in this trainings and make the course as simple, yet impactful, as possible, while saving a bunch of money.

#122 – 10 Things Keeping You From Changing

#122 – 10 Things Keeping You From Changing

Why Don’t People Change?

Everyone wants to change!

But, very few people actually create the change that they are looking for.

Why is that?

Why don’t people change; or, why don’t people create the change that they are looking for?

Today we’re going to explore 2 things.

What keeps people from change, in general?

. . . And, . . .

What’s keeping YOU from changing?

What Keeps People From Changing?

This is a big question and a very powerful question.

I’m just going to share my top 10 things that keep people from changing.

This isn’t an all inclusive list, but these are some of my favorites.

  1. Identity
    • It’s hard to BE someone you don’t believe you can be!
    • You are who you believe you are.
    • If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
      • How does this change conflict with my identity?
        • Moms who identify as a “yeller” have a hard time stopping the habit of yelling.
  2. Benefit
    • It’s hard to change if you want to continue getting the benefit of the old way.
    • Everything we do, we do because of a perceived benefit.
    • If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
      • What benefit am I getting from this old way of BEing?
        • It’s hard to lose weight if you’re too attached to the benefit of comfort and relaxation.
  3. Desire
    • It’s hard to change if you don’t really want to change.
    • My least favorite people to coach are the people who don’t want to change. They’re usually getting coaching because their parents or spouse wants them to change.
    • If you don’t want to change, you won’t change.
    • If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
      • If I don’t want to change, why not?
      • What do I want to do instead of changing?
  4. Comfort
    • Comfort doesn’t create change.
    • In fact, comfort often stifles change.
    • It’s natural to seek comfort. We are hardwired to seek comfort.
      • If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
        • What will my life look like in a week, month, year, 5 years, 20 years if I stay in comfort?
        • What will my life look like in a week, month, year, 5 years, 20 years If I leave comfort?
  5. Lack of Belief
    • Most people don’t truly believe that they can change.
    • When people don’t choose to work with me, the #1 reason is because they don’t believe it will work for them, because they don’t believe in themselves.
    • If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
      • If I did believe I could change, who would I BE and what would I do?
      • Then BE that and DO that!
  6. Choice
    • Most people don’t consciously choose to change.
    • Change is a choice!
    • Choose to change.
    • If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
      • What choices would create change in my life?
  7. Values
    • Your values create your reality.
    • If you want to change your reality, you’ll have to change your values.
    • If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
      • What values would create new results in my life?
  8. Commitment/Buy-In
    • Commitment and Buy-In are undervalued.
    • How committed are you to creating change? How bought in are you?
    • One of the reasons I charge people to work with me is because it increases commitment and buy-in.
    • If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
      • On a scale of 1-10, how committed am I?
      • What would help be be more committed/bought-in?
  9. Trying to Change from the Outside In
    • Most people try to change from the outside-in.
    • You can only create change from the INSIDE-OUT!
    • Outside-In = Focus on things outside of your control.
    • Inside-Out = Focus on things within your control.
    • If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
      • What am I trying to change that’s OUTSIDE of my control?
      • What’s something WITHIN my control that I can change?
  10. Trying to Force Change
    • This one is huge!
    • Most people try to force change.
    • Rather than forcing it, simply allow the change to happen.
    • Creating change is like planting a seed. Once it’s planted, do you part (water and fertilize it) and then allow the seed to do its own thing.
    • If you’re struggling to create the change you’re looking for, ask yourself this:
      • Why am I trying to force this?
      • How could change naturally take place on its own?

What’s Keeping YOU From Changing?

The truth is, the thing keeping you from changing is . . .

. . . You probably already guessed it . . .

. . . It’s YOU!

I’m a very good life coach, but I can’t create change in your life.

Only YOU can create the change that you are looking for.

If you want help, I can help you.

I can teach you how to simply start BEing the parent of your dreams!

I can help you connect with your teen, right where they are, and start having the relationship you’ve always wanted, starting TODAY!

I can help you grow and develop skills that will help you BE the parent of your dreams.

BUT, it starts with you!

The Firmly Founded Family theme for October is:
Facing Your Fears!

On Monday, we hosted a FREE training on Taming Your Emotional Monsters.

We’re doing a fun challenge for the month to help you and your family overcome your fears.

By participating in this training (watching the replay) and doing things to overcome your fears, you and your family can win a $100 Amazon Gift Card.

Register for this FREE training for the whole family by clicking the button below.