#101 Mental & Emotional Health

#101 Mental & Emotional Health

Mental and Emotional Health Go Hand In Hand

May is mental health month, so I keep seeing lots of posts about mental health.

I wanted to take a minute and share my thoughts on this.

I believe that mental and emotional health go hand in hand. Without one, you cannot have the other.

If you want to strengthen one, you’ll have to strengthen the other.

If you strengthen one, you’ll strengthen the other.

Mental and Emotional Health go together like the chicken and the egg.

You can’t really separate them.

What is Mental Health

I believe mental health is something that EVERYONE has! It’s kind of like physical health, if you’re alive, you’ve got it to some extent.

Just like physical health, there are things you can do to improve your mental health.

First, here’s how I define mental health.

Mental health is your ability to be aware of your thinking and to be intentional with how you think.

That’s it!

You are not your thoughts, you are the thinker of your thoughts!

As the thinker, you have the power to

What Is Emotional Health

I define emotional health as the ability to experience any and ALL emotions and to be able to identify and process them.

One of the problems that I see is when people label emotions as “good” of “bad”, often it’s positive or negative.

The problem with this is that it sends the wrong message, that negative or “bad” emotions should be avoided, and that positive emotions or the only good ones.

The truth is, that humans are designed to feel a wide range of emotions.

It’s empowering to know that feeling anxiety or anger doesn’t mean that anything is wrong with you, in fact, it means you have some emotional health because you are experiencing an emotion.

How to Strengthen Your Mental and Emotional Health

I know I sound like a broken record, but the most powerful thing you can do to help your teen strengthen their mental or emotional health is to strengthen your own.

You can show them the example of being someone who’s aware of their thoughts and intentional when it comes to their thoughts.

You can be the example of allowing any and all emotions and identifying and processing the emotion.

Share The Love!

One of the most powerful things you can do to change from the inside out is to share your growth and experience with others.

By BEing the change you want to see, you will start to inspire others.

Share your wins.

Share your growth.

Share your successes.

Share your resources and tools.

BE the example of what is possible when it comes to parenting.

CALL TO ACTION

Join my free Be the Change training starting next week. It will all be happening on my Be the Change Challenge Facebook Group to see when I go live.

#070 Scary Feelings!

#070 Scary Feelings!

Your feeling can’t hurt you, no matter how scary they are.

Are You and/or Your Teen Emotionally Healthy?

It’s unfortunate that when most people refer to “Emotional Health”, they are actually referring to the lack of emotional health.

I hear people saying things like, “They have some emotional health issues,” or, “They are struggling with emotional health.”

But, who actually knows what emotional health is?

When I ask teens, “What do you think Emotional Health is?” they usually tell me one of two things. Either, #1 “It means you’re happy all of the time,” or #2 “You struggle with depression and anxiety.”

The truth is, neither of these is an example of emotional health.

I teach that Emotional health is the ability to experience ANY and ALL emotions and identify and process them.

Notice how emotional health has nothing to do with being happy all of the time? Notice also, that emotional health doesn’t rule out uncomfortable emotions like depression and anxiety?

Emotional health means that you are capable of experiencing the whole range of emotions, from happy to sad, from excited to bored out of your mind.

Being able to experience any and all emotions is the first step in being emotionally healthy.

The second part is being able to identify and process the emotion.

This is as simple as being able to identify the emotion, understanding how it feels in your body, and exploring why you are feeling it or what thoughts are creating that emotion.

So, how emotionally healthy are YOU?

Are you able to experience any and all emotions?

Are you able to identify and process your emotions?

If so, no matter how many uncomfortable emotions you experience, you have emotional health.

What Are Feelings and Emotions?

Feelings and emotions are energy and vibrations within your body. They can be uncomfortable, but they cannot physically hurt you.

Here are some examples of how we identify emotions in our bodies; “I’ve got butterflies in my stomach,” or “I’m having cold feet,” or “It took my breath away,” and, “I’ve got the weight of the world on my shoulders.”

Emotions are simply energy in your body.

Your emotions are created by your thoughts.

Scary Feelings

Sometimes it can be scary to experience feelings.

Much of what we do as human beings is in an effort to avoid feelings that we don’t want to feel, like embarrassment, shame, guilt, boredom, and sadness.

The thing is, none of these feelings can actually physically hurt us.

They’re simply uncomfortable.

Sometimes we avoid scary feelings like we might avoid an unknown animal in the woods.

Imagine that you’re walking through the woods at dusk. Imagine that there is just enough light that when you turn to look behind you, you see two eyes glowing in the darkness of the woods behind you.

Instantly, you are filled with fear.

“What if it’s a tiger, or a bear, or worse, a dragon.”

So, you take off running. Avoiding whatever is behind the eyes.

If you’re like most human beings, you have done this with scary emotions sometimes.

You feel this scary feeling coming on.

So what do you do?

You run!

You avoid it, resist it, or react to it.

Emotions Aren’t As Scary As We Fear

Let’s look back at our imagined scenario of creepy eyes in the woods.

I live in Utah, so the chances of those eyes belonging to a tiger are pretty slim. I’ve never seen a bear up close in the wild, so this is pretty slim too. And, I’ve been told that dragons don’t exist, so it’s not going to be a dragon.

It’s way more likely to be a rabbit, a deer, or some other harmless animal.

The same is true about scary feelings.

It’s never as bad as we fear.

In fact, sometimes the very emotion that you are trying to avoid isn’t even the emotion that you end up experiencing.

Embarrassment and shame are two emotions that I try to avoid at all costs.

The thing is, when I allow them and experience and process them, they’re never as bad as I feared.

In fact, sometimes while I process the emotion, I begin to realize that the emotion is actually fear itself rather than embarrassment.

Developing Emotional Health for YOU and Your Teen!

Today, it seems like everyone wants to improve their emotional health or their teen’s emotional health.

It’s become kind of a buzzword.

I want to share with you some simple things that YOU can do to improve your own emotional health and how this will impact your teen’s emotional health.

First of all, you have no control over your teen’s emotional health, but you do influence their emotional health.

So, if you want your teen to improve their emotional health, improve your own and trust that that will have a positive impact on their emotional health!

I want to invite you to practice experiencing ANY and ALL emotions that come your way!

Practice identifying them.

Process them. Understand where you feel them, and what they feel like, and what thoughts create these feelings.

By transforming your own emotional health, you will be helping your teen be prepared to experience scary feelings with the same hope and confidence that they see from you!

Call to ACTION!

Come join me in the Firmly Founded Parent Membership! The price is getting ready to go up, and we’re making it better than ever!

#070 Scary Feelings!

#032 Improving Your Mental & Emotional Health

You ALONE have the power to increase your mental and emotional health.

“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with.”
~ Wayne Dyer

Everyone’s Mental Health Needs are Unique

Last week we talked about mental and emotional health and how I define it.

For me, Mental Health refers to:

  • Mental and emotional well being.
  • The ability to be aware of one’s thoughts, feelings, and how they relate to their actions and results.
  • The ability to process thoughts and emotions, both positive and negative or large and small.
  • It’s the ability to problem solve and overcome struggles and challenges.

Not everyone’s mental and emotional health needs are the same.

There is no “one size fits all” solution.

This is why it is vital that you take the time to figure out your own mental and emotional health needs and wants.

I had one teenager who wanted to increase his ability to sleep at night. He wasn’t sure how, but he thought this was somehow tied to his mental and emotional health. (I’ll tell you later what he did to go from struggling to fall asleep, stay asleep, and then wake up in the morning to sleeping like a baby all night long.)

I had another client who constantly worried about mistakes from their past. They worried that they had ruined their future, upset God, and they constantly felt like they weren’t good enough.

I have parents who constantly worry that their teenager or young adult will do something “too bad” and “ruin their lives.”

These are all areas that can be improved by increasing your mental health.

Increase Your Own Awareness

One of the things that I’ve seen that helps people identify areas where they would like to increase their mental health, is to explore areas of your life that you are unhappy with.
What things frustrate you?
What things seem overwhelming or insurmountable?
What are the things or areas of your life that you are avoiding?

It’s empowering to increase your awareness. Rather than ignoring and avoiding areas of your life that cause you discomfort or dissatisfaction, we face them and experience them.

Awareness empowers you to make a change.

Make Mental Health a Simple, Sustainable, Priority

It’s important that you don’t over complicate your mental health.

Find things that are simple and sustainable for you. They don’t have to take too long. They don’t have to be hard.

The young man who couldn’t sleep at night started doing a 5 minute thought download 30-60 minutes before bed. Within a week he was sleeping better. Within a month he had the sleep schedule that he wanted and only did thought downloads once or twice a week.

The client who struggled with their past actions explored those past actions and found some benefits and positives associated with it. The worked on accepting that circumstances are neutral, and that if there are negatives there has to also be an equal number of positives. Once they found that the past actions were truly neutral, it stopped bugging them overnight.

Some of my clients exercise their mental health by doing physical exercise. Others do writing in journals, thought downloads, or even creative writing.

Some join sports teams or school/community theater.

The bottom line is that YOUR mental health is yours. You get to decide how to take care of you best.

If you’re worried about your teen’s mental health, be the example. Make your mental health a bigger priority. Your example to your teen is the most powerful thing you can do to help them change.

Call to ACTION!

Hurry and join Firmly Founded Parents, a group coaching program for parents just like you!

We help parents become the kind of parents that their teens love and respect!

I’ve joining forces with 3 other coaches to offer you the BEST parenting membership EVER!

The Doors Are Open! Become a Member of Firmly Founded Parents!

Do you want to become confident in your parenting?
Are you ready to stop power struggling with your teenager?
Do you just want help and support from other parents just like you?
Are you ready to build a rock-solid relationship with your teen?

You can achieve all of this and more by becoming a member of Firmly Founded Parents!
As a member, you’ll get:

  • 🔥 Exclusive trainings for parenting teens in 2021
  • 📅2 LIVE Zoom Calls throughout the month with or certified coaches
  • 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Unlimited access to our community of like-minded parents
  • 🏆 2 coaching sessions/month with our expert coaches
  • 🎯 Learn ways to have a powerful impact on your teen’s life
  • 😎 Build unshakable confidence in yourself as a parent
  • 🏗️ Build a rock-solid relationship with your teen
  • 📚 Access to our growing library of resources

🤯 ONLY $97 A MONTH! 🤯

#070 Scary Feelings!

#031 What is Mental & Emotional Health?

What you think and what you feel go hand in hand, and you have power over both!

“Anything that’s human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary.”
~ Fred Rogers

Mental Health vs Mental Illness vs Mental Disorder

Lots of people use the terms “mental health,” “mental illness,” and “mental disorder” interchangeably.

I’m glad that more people are talking about these things and that it’s a more acceptable topic than it has been in the past, but I worry that there’s not enough distinction between the three.

I want to be perfectly clear; I’m not a doctor, therapist, or counselor! I do not treat, cure, or solve mental illness or mental and emotional disorders. I am not trained or licensed to work in the field of mental illness or mental disorders.

BUT, I can to help clear things up a little .

For me, mental health and mental illness refer to two different things.

For me, Mental Health refers to:

  • Mental and emotional well being.
  • The ability to be aware of one’s thoughts, feelings, and how they relate to their actions.
  • The ability to process thoughts and emotions, both positive and negative or large and small.
  • It’s the ability to problem solve and overcome struggles and challenges.

On the other hand, Mental Illness and Mental Disorders refer more to diagnoses like:

  • Depression
  • ADD/ADHD
  • Bipolar, Identity, and Personality disorders,
  • Eating disorders
  • PTSD
  • Sevier Anxiety
  • Schizophrenia

Mental Health and Emotional Health Go Hand in Hand

We talked about mental health earlier. Let’s take a minute and talk about Emotional Health.

For me, Emotional Health is the ability to experience any and ALL emotions, good or bad, negative or positive, happy or sad, from one extreme to the other. In addition to being able to experience these emotions, it’s also important to be able to identify them, process them, and appreciate them.

I Focus on Improving Mental and Emotional HEALTH!

Again, I’m not a doctor, therapist, or counselor. I want to make that clear! But, we can all improve our mental & emotional health.

There’s a misconception that only certain people can help others, especially teens, improve their mental health. Yes, this might apply to mental illness and disorders, but mental health is somethi

I can help you improve your mental health.

Everyone can improve their mental and emotional health in one area or another. And, like physical health, we have to power to do most of our own mental and emotional health work for ourselves, on our own.

Many times developing and bolstering our mental health is just a simple matter of changing how we think. Sometimes it’s adding new routines and habits to our lives.

Call to ACTION!

January is the time to join my group coaching program!

I promise that this will help you become the parent of your dreams. You will develop the skills to be intentional, to turn struggles in to strengths, and to build a rock-solid relationship with your teen.

Plus, I’m joining forces with 3 other coaches to offer you the BEST parenting membership EVER!

The Doors Are Open! Become a Member of Firmly Founded Parents!

Do you want to become confident in your parenting?
Are you ready to stop power struggling with your teenager?
Do you just want help and support from other parents just like you?
Are you ready to build a rock-solid relationship with your teen?

You can achieve all of this and more by becoming a member of Firmly Founded Parents!
As a member, you’ll get:

  • 🔥 Exclusive trainings for parenting teens in 2021
  • 📅2 LIVE Zoom Calls throughout the month with or certified coaches
  • 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Unlimited access to our community of like-minded parents
  • 🏆 2 coaching sessions/month with our expert coaches
  • 🎯 Learn ways to have a powerful impact on your teen’s life
  • 😎 Build unshakable confidence in yourself as a parent
  • 🏗️ Build a rock-solid relationship with your teen
  • 📚 Access to our growing library of resources

🤯 ONLY $97 A MONTH! 🤯