If you create experiences you can create powerful transformations and powerful relationships.
We underestimate the power of fun in our lives.
When I took my kids surfing in Hawaii the instructor told us that when we got up to make sure that we looked ahead of us, like at a palm tree. If we looked down in the water, that is where we would end up.
I love this, it fits so perfectly with my favorite saying, “You are where your attention is”
We need to set our intentions and not just let our lives govern us.
You’re just a different person when you have these experiences
There is a version of you that exists that you don’t believe exists right now, when that version of you gets to come to the surface and play and you can go back to your [regular life] and you’re like “yeah, I’ve ridden waves. I rode waves in Puerto Rico”
Here is the link to a free tool they created called “The Map” : https://www.steadfastlifecoaching.com/the-map-audio-training it includes audio recordings intended to “awaken” your inner athlete, adventurer, or child of God in 3-5 minutes. Which ever identity you believe will serve you best in the challenge you’re facing.
Just about the time you think you have things figured out, everything will change!
“External events should not affect how you feel.” ~ Louis
Wheel of Life
This is a visual concept that I teach to help parents and teens understand that life is 50/50. It’s 50% pleasant and 50% unpleasant. This is normal. Nothing has gone wrong.
When things are going great in our lives, we are on the top of the wheel. When things kind of suck, or things aren’t going how we want them to, we are on the bottom of the wheel.
Sometimes, when we are on the top of the wheel, we forget to enjoy where we are in life’s journey, and we forget that being on the top isn’t going to last forever. This leads us to think that something has gone wrong when we find ourselves on the bottom of the wheel.
When we are on the top of the wheel is the best time to prepare for the inevitable times that are coming when we will be on the bottom of the wheel.
When we practice when we are on the top of the wheel, when things are going well, we can prepare for the future struggles. This is an opportunity to be intentional about who we are and how we want to live. This way, when things get tough, we are prepared to be who we want to be.
Be Intentional with The Model
With the model and some self-coaching, you can be intentional with how you parent. You can understand the emotions that are driving your actions and creating your results. You can explore the thoughts and beliefs that create those feelings and start being intentional around your thinking.
We have 60,000 thoughts per day. You can’t control all of them, but controlling a few of your thoughts will have a huge impact on the rest of your thoughts.
When you find evidence of how you teen is doing their best, how you feel towards them will change, which will change how you act.
Your brain is trying to do two things, find what you’re looking for and prove you right. If you believe that there is something wrong with your teen, of if you believe you’re a bad parent, your brain is going to constantly look for evidence to prove your thoughts.
It’s easy to be intentional for a couple of days, but eventually you will revert back to who are are, unless you make this a daily practice.
Defining Your Role as a Parent
It’s easy to not be intentional about your role as a parent. Often times you can get caught up in the day to day activities and never really get clear on your role as a parent.
When you don’t define your role, parenting will be more difficult.
Chose your role for you! You get to determine how you want to parent.
You can’t control your children, but you can double down on your efforts to control yourself.
If you focus on your model you will be empowered. If you focus on your teen’s model, you we be the victim.
Call to ACTION!
Do you have a teenager who wants to do better not procrastinating? Join me and my fellow life coach Joey Mascio on a Q & A Call for the Lead Your Life Masterclass. Click the link below!