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by Ben | Jul 15, 2020 | Podcast
Plan and Practice
Have you ever heard the saying, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail”? Or how about this one, “Practice makes perfect”?
Planning and practicing are powerful tools that will help you become they change that you are looking for.
A simple doable plan is a powerful plan.
Have you ever been part of planning that was so over the top that it was flat out overwhelming and discouraging? In my time in education and foster care, I noticed that people liked to make impossibly complicated plans. They felt like it covered EVERYTHING!
Only problem was, it was always too much.
Instead I like to look at planning like game planning for a football game.
It needs to be specific, simple/understandable, doable, and changeable.
When I game plan for football, I make it as simple as possible. Partially because I am coaching 12-14 year old boys, but also because this makes it more powerful because everybody understands it.
Same should be true for your plan. Make it simple so you understand it.
Stick to your plan so you can later evaluate what parts are working and what’s not working.
Then change it to better fit your needs.
When and how to plan and practice.
Identify specific things are you going to do to make your vision statement a reality, to make that exciting change happen. Plan specific times when you will practice doing these specific things.
Plan for how you are going to do when it’s easy. When things are easy is when you should be focusing on being intentional, developing habits and patterns, creating the new you.
Plan for how you are going to do when it’s hard. This the perfect time to implement what you’ve practiced when things were easy. Put your new skills to the test.
Identify how you will you play to your strengths.
If you haven’t yet, join our FREE Be the Change Challenge. Each day we will be doing simple 5-10 minute daily exercises to help give you a powerful perspective on your role as a parent and your ability to be the catalyst for incredible change in your life and your relationship with your teen.
- Join the FREE Facebook Group
- Join other parents just like you and get the support that you’ve been looking for.
- Download the easy to follow Workbook and Exercise Guide.
- These exercises are designed to take you just 5-10 minutes a day!
- Start making real growth as a parent TODAY!
![#005 Be The Change Challenge – Day 5]()
by Ben | Jul 12, 2020 | Podcast
The BEST Place to Start
Where you are IS the best place to start! Where you are now is connected to where you want to be. You just have to start, exactly where you are right now.
Embrace where you are, what you are learning.
Have you ever compared where you are right now with where you wish you were instead.
I see lots of people do this with weight loss. They look at their current weight and wish they weighed 10, 20, sometimes 50+ lbs less then they currently do.
Parents also do this when it comes to their relationships with their teens. They look at the relationship that they have, compare it to the one they want, and wish they could magically change.
This is what I call arguing with reality. Rather than embracing what is real, you are spending your effort wishing for something different.
Get clear on where you are and what strengths are are developing.
Take a minute to explore where you are and how that connects to where you want to be. Be open to fully embrace your current reality.
Explore what your strengths are and how you can play to your strengths. Many times we completely miss the fact that we have developed, and are developing, strengths as a result of our current circumstance.
Identify what there is about your current self that are you grateful about? How can you show gratitude for where you are?
If you haven’t yet, join our FREE Be the Change Challenge. Each day we will be doing simple 5-10 minute daily exercises to help give you a powerful perspective on your role as a parent and your ability to be the catalyst for incredible change in your life and your relationship with your teen.
- Join the FREE Facebook Group
- Join other parents just like you and get the support that you’ve been looking for.
- Download the easy to follow Workbook and Exercise Guide.
- These exercises are designed to take you just 5-10 minutes a day!
- Start making real growth as a parent TODAY!
![#005 Be The Change Challenge – Day 5]()
by Ben | Jul 11, 2020 | Podcast
Exciting New Change
Have you ever set out on an adventure, something difficult and challenging, but something that you wanted to do because it was exciting, because it lit your soul on fire?
There’s power in excitement.
Have you ever tried to make a change just because someone else wanted you to? Have you ever tried to do something that you just couldn’t get behind?
Too many of us try to do this all the time. We want to be be nicer to our in-laws, because our spouse wants us to. We try to lose weight because our doctor told us we should, but ultimately we’re not really behind it. It seems boring, maybe impossible, and just plan dull.
On the other hand, have you ever been so excited and gung ho about something that NOTHING could hold you back.
Last year I decided that I was going to learn how to solve a Rubik’s Cube.
I got some instructions, a Rubik’s Cube, and started practicing everyday. I was so excited because I was going to prove to myself that I could learn something hard.
When I’d go to bed, visions of solving Rubik’s cubes danced in my head.
I know it’s random, but it’s a powerful example of what a little excitement will do. I never gave up and I worked on it just a little at a time almost everyday.
Find one area where you feel excited about making a change, and focus your efforts there.
Find one area where you feel excited, where change feels real and possible.
That’s the area we want to focus on.
This area of change can be anything that you would like. Anything that excites you and feels right.
When I did this exercise, I found that I was most excited about taking an interest in the things that my kids are interested in.
It excites me because it sounds fun. I LOVE hanging out with my kids. It excites me because I can really see this making a huge impact on my relationship with them.
Over the next few days, I’m going to focus my efforts on taking an interest in what my kids like.
This might look like me playing a couple rounds of Fortnite with my older boys and jumping on the tramp with my younger kids. It might be me watching TicTok videos with my teen.
Bottom line is, I’m going to practice being interested in the things that interest my kids.
If you haven’t yet, join our FREE Be the Change Challenge. Each day we will be doing simple 5-10 minute daily exercises to help give you a powerful perspective on your role as a parent and your ability to be the catalyst for incredible change in your life and your relationship with your teen.
- Join the FREE Facebook Group
- Join other parents just like you and get the support that you’ve been looking for.
- Download the easy to follow Workbook and Exercise Guide.
- These exercises are designed to take you just 5-10 minutes a day!
- Start making real growth as a parent TODAY!
![#005 Be The Change Challenge – Day 5]()
by Ben | Jul 10, 2020 | Podcast
Make a Statement
You’ve gained some clarity on what your role and purpose as a parent are, and even how you envision this. Now, it’s time to make a short and memorable vision statement.
There’s power in consistency.
Have you ever decided to make a change, been super motivated in the morning, and then at bed time realized that you completely forgot about that change you were so excited to make?
I do this all the time. I want to be more productive with my time, then I accidentally get sucked into watching Facebook videos and forget all about my goal of being productive throughout the day.
Any efforts are sporadic rather than consistent.
Yesterday you brainstormed about what your purpose and roles are as a parent. You gained some clarity by exploring tons of options and started taking steps towards defining your vision for yourself.
Today, we’re going to take this one step further. We are going to define and craft a short and powerful vision statement.
This vision statement will help you be consistent. It will help you stay true to your vision for yourself, especially when you find yourself in a tough parenting moment.
Your vision statement will become your guide.
Our brains aren’t designed to store and remember lots of information; rather, our brains are meant to process information and move on.
A clear vision statement is short, easy to remember, and then acts as a filter or lens through which we process information and make decisions.
Having a written vision statement will help guide you through the day as you go about parenting.
I’ve found it helpful to write my vision statement out and hang it up throughout my house. This gives me lots of little reminders to be intentional and to follow my statement.
If you haven’t yet, join our FREE Be the Change Challenge. Each day we will be doing simple 5-10 minute daily exercises to help give you a powerful perspective on your role as a parent and your ability to be the catalyst for incredible change in your life and your relationship with your teen.
- Join the FREE Facebook Group
- Join other parents just like you and get the support that you’ve been looking for.
- Download the easy to follow Workbook and Exercise Guide.
- These exercises are designed to take you just 5-10 minutes a day!
- Start making real growth as a parent TODAY!
![#005 Be The Change Challenge – Day 5]()
by Ben | Jul 9, 2020 | Podcast
Envision Your Purpose and Role
What is your role as a parent? How do you envision yourself fulfilling that role? What is your purpose?
There’s power in clarity.
The reality is, most parents never really take a minute to think about their purpose as parents, their role, or how they envision themselves as parents in that role.
I mean, most parents, if you asked them what their role was, they could definitely come up with some solid answers, but most have never really taken time to proactively think about it. Most parents haven’t explored all the possibilities.
When I did this exercise, I realized that I wasn’t necessarily “finding” answers, I was defining the answers that I was looking for.
I wasn’t “finding” my purpose as a father, I was defining my purpose.
I realized that I wanted to be a teacher, coach, mentor, example, friend, partner, and so many other things. Once I began to explore this, I realized that there are TONS of things that I am doing right. I also became aware of a few specific things that I want to be doing better.
Over the next 5 days, we will be doing simple 5-10 minute daily exercises to help give you a powerful perspective on your role as a parent and your ability to be the catalyst for incredible change in your life and your relationship with your teen.
- Join the FREE Facebook Group
- Join other parents just like you and get the support that you’ve been looking for.
- Download the easy to follow Workbook and Exercise Guide.
- These exercises are designed to take you just 5-10 minutes a day!
- Start making real growth as a parent TODAY!
