Some of your beliefs that used to be super beneficial might now be holding you back.
“You are not your habits. You are not your urges. You are not your habit voice telling you to go into your habits. (. . .) You cannot change your habits by fighting them.”
~ Jim Fortin
What are Habitual Beliefs?
Habitual beliefs are beliefs that are simply habits. If you’re like most people, you think and believe them without even realizing it. Just like most other habits, you’ve thought and believed these beliefs so many times that they come completely natural to you and it all happens unconsciously.
Most people believe their habitual thoughts are actually fact or truth. When this happens, you start to incorporate your habitual beliefs as part of your identity.
Habitual beliefs create habitual emotions. Emotions that underscore other emotions.
For me, it sometimes looks like this.
Ben’s Habitual Belief: “I’m not good enough” . . . or . . . “I’m doing this wrong.”
Ben’s Habitual Emotion: Self-Doubt . . . or . . . Shame
There was a time were I regularly thought this without even realizing it. These ideas that, “I’m not good enough,” or “I’m doing this wrong,” made me feel inadequate in everything I did, from parenting to being a principal, to starting my life coach business.
These habitual beliefs were holding me back.
The good news, the best news ever, is that you don’t have to continue believing these habitual beliefs!
You can let them grow and choose your own beliefs.
Where Did Your Habitual Beliefs Come From and How Do They Benefit You?
Developing awareness is one of the most powerful things you can do in all areas of your life. I talk about awareness ALL OF THE TIME! So, here we go again.
It’s powerful to understand where these habitual beliefs came from and when you started developing the habit of thinking this way. This awareness and understanding will give you the power to shift your beliefs.
If you’re like me, the belief, “I’m not good enough,” started when you were very young. You may have had teachers and parents tell you, “You need to do better . . . ,” or “You need to be better . . . ” Maybe you were compared to a “smarter” or “better” sibling or friend. At some point, you adopted the belief that you aren’t good enough and then you developed this habit over the space of years.
Take some time to really explore where your habitual beliefs came from. When did you start thinking this way?
Next, explore, “How have these beliefs served me”?
For me, thinking “I’m not good enough” has kept me safe and comfortable. I didn’t take the risk of trying out for the high school basketball team because I believed, “I’m not good enough.” That belief benefited me because I didn’t have to do something hard. I didn’t have to put myself in a position to possibly be cut from the team and embarrassed.
Everything you believe benefits you on some level. Find the benefits so you are fully aware of what’s going on.
How Are Your Habitual Beliefs No Longer Benefiting You?
Now that you’ve taken some time to understand where these beliefs came from and how they benefit you, you’re ready to do the easy part.
How are these habitual beliefs no longer benefiting you?
When I believe, “I’m not good enough” I hold myself back. I feel regular self-doubt. I don’t take risks, and I don’t do scary things like building my business.
How are your beliefs no longer benefiting you?
One of my clients had the habitual belief, “Bad grades can ruin your life.” For her, this belief started at a very young age. She was told that she needed to get good grades to be successful. This belief has benefited her in her life because she earned very good grades. She got scholarships to help her go to college. She learned how to work hard.
But, she realized that this belief was no longer serving her. When she applied this belief to her teen she felt scared, which led to the action of her trying to control and/or fix her teen and make him get better grades, which created the result of a lot of tension in their relationship.
Choosing New Habitual Beliefs
YOU have the power to choose what you will think and believe. You have the power to choose what thoughts and beliefs you will give attention to. You are where your attention is.
You don’t have to be driven by your old habitual beliefs.
They may have benefited you in the past, but if they are no longer benefiting you, you can choose new beliefs.
The power of choosing your own habitual beliefs is that 90% of what you do is habit-based. If you want better results, develop better habits. If you want a better reality, cultivate better habitual beliefs.
The beliefs that have gotten you here are not the same beliefs that will get you to your goals.
The hard part is that most people identify as their habits. If you’re like most people, you see your habits as a part of who you are. This makes you a slave to your habitual beliefs.
YOU ARE NOT YOUR HABITUAL BELIEFS!
You are not your thoughts, you are the thinker of your thoughts.
You are not your habits. You are the doer of your habits.
You are the thinker of your habitual beliefs.
You are not your habitual beliefs. Your habitual beliefs are simply your thoughts! You get to control them.
How to Shift Your Habitual Beliefs
- Distance yourself from the habitual belief
- Anytime you think the undesired habitual belief, think to yourself:
- “That’s not me. It’s just one of my beliefs.”
- This will help you to stop identifying as your habitual belief.
- You are not the belief, you are the thinker of the belief.
- Anytime you think the undesired habitual belief, think to yourself:
- Acknowledge that the belief has served you in the past, but that this belief no longer serves you.
- This belief isn’t good or bad. No need for shame.
- You’re grateful that this thought used to serve you. It got you to where you are today. But,
- This way of thinking does not serve you any longer. It does not connect you to your desired result.
- Dismiss the old belief and move your attention to your new belief.
- You can say, “I dismiss my old belief NOW,” and/or
- “I move my attention to . . . (insert the new intentional belief).
Call to ACTION!
I’m getting ready to launch my BETA program for parents, Impact Parenting Program. And I want YOU to help me make it the best program ever.
If you are interested in getting in at founding member pricing (a huge discount) and helping me build something that will benefit parents of teens just like you, click the link below to get on the waitlist, and I’ll notify you when I’m ready to launch.