This Is Coming From a Place of Love
First of all, I don’t hate other parenting coaches.
In fact, I don’t think I hate anyone.
I know tons of parenting coaches that are freaking amazing.
I just see the ads on Facebook and the emails in my inbox telling me things like,
- “I’m THE parenting expert, and YOU should only listen to me.”
- “Parent this way so your kids will . . . (fill in the blank).”
- Or, “Here’s the RIGHT way to parent.”
So, I’m going to share some of the things that I think are holding parents back, and I’m also going to share a mindset shift that will help you change everything.
#1 I’m NOT “THE Parenting Expert,” YOU Are!
I remember once when I wanted to be THE parenting expert.
I wanted to be the ONE and only person that other people came to for parenting coaching.
Then I learned something very powerful, I can’t be the expert in YOUR life.
Only YOU can.
This came to me when I wanted some business expert to come and tell me how to run my business.
I HATED IT.
First of all, I don’t really like it when people tell me what to do, and second of all, they didn’t even really understand who I am, what I want, what I want my business to look like, and how I want to run things.
That meant, they were telling me to do things that I didn’t really want to do.
And when I did those things, it felt completely out of alignment with my values and identity.
Then I realized, how can they be THE EXPERT in MY business?
Truth is, they can’t. Only I can be the expert in my business.
And, the same is true for you in your family. Only YOU can be the expert on YOUR parenting.
When you realize that YOU are the expert in your parenting, your mindset will shift.
Instead of looking for answers outside of yourself, you’ll start finding all the answers you need from inside of yourself.
You’ll find that you have inner wisdom for your life and parenting circumstances that no one else has.
#2 “Parent This Special Way, So Your Teen Will Do . . . “
The truth is, most parenting advice is secretly focused on the children.
I get it. We all want to change our children from time to time.
The problem is, when you start parenting with the intention that your child will change or do what you want, it causes you to parent in a way that is not in line with who you want to be.
This is actually called manipulation.
I’m going to ACT this way or do this thing, so you will behave.
Anytime you do something as a parent with the intention that it will change, fix, or control your teen, you’re trying to manipulate them, and you’re not parenting in line with your identity or values.
So, here’s the mindset shift.
Rather than parenting in the “special” way, hoping your teen will change, parent the way that makes you feel alive, confident, and connected.
I completely believe that I am an amazing dad.
I feel like my best is not only good enough, but it is EXACTLY what my family needs.
Because I believe this, I feel alive, guided, confident, and connected.
#3 There’s a Right and a Wrong Way To Parent
This one is related to #2, but it’s different enough that it deserved its own mention.
There is no “right” way to parent.
Parenting the “right” way is a common theme in parenting advice.
The problem is, it’s so hard to nail down exactly is “right” and “wrong”.
Also, what if someone thinks you’re wrong, but someone else thinks you’re right?
The truth is, there’s no “right” and “wrong” way to parent.
Rather than trying to parent according to what someone else thinks is “right” for you, find out for yourself what’s right for you.
Here’s a powerful mindset shift.
You are the right parent for your teen.
No one loves them like you do. No one is as committed to them as you are.
You are perfect for them, and they are perfect for you!
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